


D is for Death has an Awkward Near-Vimes Experience

by scarletmanuka



Series: V/V Alphabet Challenge [4]
Category: Discworld - Terry Pratchett
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-31
Updated: 2016-07-31
Packaged: 2018-07-28 08:34:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7632730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scarletmanuka/pseuds/scarletmanuka





	D is for Death has an Awkward Near-Vimes Experience

Death sat at his large polished desk and opened the ledger for the day. He ran one bony finger down the page, making note of which hourglasses he would need to collect. He sighed as he saw a familiar name and made a note to collect a book on his way out. He doubted very much if today would be the day that he finally escorted Sir Samuel Vimes to the afterlife, but one never knew. If it wasn’t for his ability to be in several places at once, Death would have started to get annoyed at how the Uncertainty Principle messed with his calendar. The only consolation was that Vimes got himself into so many dangerous and unusual situations that at least it was entertaining. 

After gathering the required hourglasses, his scythe, and some treats for Binky, Death started his work day.

He worked through his list, saving Vimes for last. He was up to a particularly good part of his book and he wanted to make sure that he could continue reading when he got home without being delayed too much. 

Binky flew over the streets of Ankh-Morpork, heading for the Patrician’s Palace. He landed softly on the roof and Death dismounted, pulling a sugar lump from his pouch and feeding it to the horse. “I WON’T BE LONG,” he told Binky, giving him a rub on the head.

Moving in a generally downwards direction, Death made his way towards the place he could feel Vimes. He found himself in a quiet corridor, which was somewhat of a surprise. He expected to be needed in the much visited Oblong Office, but this appeared to be a residential part of the palace. His senses honed in on a particular door and he walked through it.

“OH. OH MY...AH, I’LL JUST TURN AROUND, SHALL I?” If he had them, Death would have found his cheeks flaming. He spun around and stood staring at the door, trying to unsee what he had just witnessed. As much as he tried though, he couldn’t. The cry of passion that came from the bed just hammered it in.

Sir Samuel had been kneeling on the bed. He was very much naked. Behind him had been the Patrician. Also naked. He was pulling tightly on a soft scarf that had been wrapped around Vimes’ throat. His other hand had been reaching around in front of Vimes and pumping his cock firmly.

The cries died out and all her could hear was panting.

“ERM, ARE YOU STILL ALIVE THEN?”

“I feel very much alive, thank you,” Vimes replied, somewhat hoarsely.

“SO, YOU’RE NOT BEING BRUTALLY MURDERED?”

“Not murdered, no.”

“SO, IT DOESN’T APPEAR THAT I’M NEEDED THEN?”

“It appears not.”

“I’LL JUST BE ON MY WAY THEN.”

“Don’t forget your book.”

Death stooped down and picked up the book he’d dropped and hurried out through the wall without looking back. He had taken several steps before he heard uproarious laughter coming from the room he’d just left. He hurried back to Binky and decided that perhaps now was the time to lodge a complaint about the Uncertainty Principle. 


End file.
